The Good Christian Girl: What We Were Taught
We were taught to be good.
Not good as in kind or honest or whole.
But good as in quiet.
Good as in obedient.
Good as in agreeable, palatable, small.
We were taught that obedience was next to godliness —
not the kind that grows from trust,
but the kind that’s demanded, automatic, and unquestioned.
We were taught that submission was our strength.
That we were created to follow.
That a gentle and quiet spirit was not just encouraged —
but commanded.
And when our voices rose too high,
when our questions came too often,
when our “no” felt too much like a boundary —
we were reminded:
“A godly woman knows her place.”
We were taught that modesty would protect us.
That if we covered our bodies, we’d be safe.
That our clothing could prevent their sin.
We became the guardians of male purity —
even as we were learning to be ashamed of our own skin.
We were trained to serve before we could speak.
To nurture, to accommodate, to smile.
We learned to swallow discomfort.
To perform peace.
To call self-abandonment “love.”
We were taught that a good Christian girl
submits.
Sacrifices.
Says yes when she means no.
Stays silent, even when it hurts.
Never trusts herself more than a man —
or more than the church.
But what if good was never the goal?
What if obedience isn’t the same as faith?
What if submission, when forced, is just another name for control?
What if the God we met in the silence —
in the questions, in the wrestle, in the ache —
is calling us now to speak?
To peel back the performance,
the fear,
the pressure,
and say:
This is not the whole truth.
And we are not here to be small.
Why This Series Exists
The Good Christian Girl Series is for the ones who are quietly questioning.
The ones who were taught that holiness meant self-erasure.
The ones who confused guilt with conviction.
The ones who were taught that their worth depended on how submissive, silent, or sexually “pure” they could be.
This series is a gentle rebellion — not against faith, but against the distortion of it.
Because the God I know now does not require my silence.
He doesn’t ask me to abandon myself.
She doesn’t confuse obedience with worth.
⸻
An Invitation
If you’ve ever:
• Said “yes” to serve when your soul needed rest
• Confused submission with silence
• Felt like your anger meant you were unspiritual
• Buried your truth in the name of being good
Then this space is for you.
You are not alone.
You are not rebellious.
You are awakening.
With heart,
Silondile🌷
