Body Image, Femininity, and Being Palatable
I used to believe my worth lived in the mirror.
That beauty made me valuable. That being wanted made me worthy.
That if I could just be pretty enough, small enough, soft enough, the world would reward me with love, safety, and belonging.
But the truth is, I was never chasing beauty for myself.
I was chasing approval.
And approval, in a world that teaches girls to be palatable, comes at the cost of your wholeness.
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The Performance of “Pretty”
From the moment we’re old enough to be seen, we’re taught that our bodies are for other people’s consumption.
• “Smile.”
• “Be graceful.”
• “Sit like a lady.”
• “Don’t wear that, it’s too much.”
• “Wear something, you don’t want to let yourself go.”
We’re handed scripts on what femininity should look like.
Not too loud. Not too big. Not too sexual, but not too modest.
Always desirable, never demanding.
Always pleasing—to the eye, the ear, the ego.
Pretty becomes a currency. A strategy. A cage.
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The Body As a Battleground
Underneath our beauty rituals is often a war we’ve never chosen to fight.
We shrink our stomachs. We paint our faces. We pull at our skin.
We become hyperaware of angles, lighting, flaws.
We compare. We compete. We contort.
All to be seen as “enough.”
But whose standard are we trying to meet?
And what happens when we no longer want to meet it?
When we say:
“I’m not here to be beautiful for you.”
“I don’t owe you pretty.”
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The Liberation in Being Unpalatable
To reject the pressure to be palatable is revolutionary.
To take up space—physically, emotionally, spiritually—is an act of resistance.
You can:
• Be powerful and not polished
• Be soft and not sexualized
• Be present in your body without performing for anyone
You get to wear what makes you feel alive.
You get to define your own beauty—or not define it at all.
You get to prioritize how you feel over how you look.
And maybe, for the first time, you begin to dress, speak, and live—not for validation, but for liberation.
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Being Enough Without Being Pretty
You are enough on your bad skin days.
You are enough when your jeans don’t fit.
You are enough without makeup, filters, or approval.
You are more than a face to be looked at.
You are more than a body to be judged.
You are not an object—you are a full, breathing, becoming self.
And if the world finds that too much to handle?
Let it choke.
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Reflection Prompts:
• Where did I first learn that being “pretty” was part of being lovable?
• What beauty standards have I internalized that no longer serve me?
• What parts of my body or expression have I been hiding to be more “acceptable”?
• What does freedom in my body feel like?
